How To Fake A Clean House In 10 Minutes!

 

It's funny how last-minute guests want to "pop in" during the holiday season. We're expected to be gracious and offer last minute hospitality to these spontaneous stops, but don't people know how families REALLY live? At our house, it's NOT in an orderly fashion-- to put it mildly. So how exactly are we supposed to fake a clean house in 10 minutes (or whatever tiny fraction of time your guests give you as notice)?


Should you receive the dreaded call that someone wants to "pop in" for a quick visit in the middle of your daily mess, here's how to pull this off effectively. 

 

1. Box Up The Clutter, And Clear The Floor &  Countertops

If you have piles of stuff in the corner, grab a bin or box, and get that outta there. Spare room is good. Attic, even better. Organization is not the point here. Youtube vlogger Jordan Page recommends grabbing laundry baskets (assuming they aren't already full of clothes waiting to be folded) and tossing everything you can inside. You can hide them in closets, the garage, your car — anywhere your guests are unlikely to go. 


2. Load The Dishwasher

As the website Kitchn says, even people who tend to always have a clean kitchen sometimes fake it, so now it's your turn. Stash the dishes in the dishwasher. Don't worry if the dishes inside are clean, just take enough out to place the dirty ones in — it doesn't hurt anything to put them through two cycles if necessary. Also, if you don't have time to actually wash the dishes, toss them in the sink and cover with soapy water. The point is to give guests the illusion you're not actively in the process of letting them pile up.


3. Give The Bathrooms A Once-Over

Unfortunately, people will need to use the bathroom. That's why this area gets priority cleaning as well, and Good Housekeeping had some great tips on to get it done fast. Shove all those toiletries into drawers, cabinets or even into the bathtub. (If people are peeking behind your shower curtain, you have bigger problems than whatever's stowed behind it.) Straighten hand towels, and if the bath towels are manky, toss them behind the curtain too. Give everything a quick wipe, toilet seat and lid included.


4. Wipe Down The Living Space & Kitchen

Grab a squirt bottle and a paper towel to clear away the cheerios, dried play-doh, pamphlets, Cane's receipts, paper clippings and all the gunk that has built up on surfaces over the course of daily use.


5. Square Everything Up

Cabinets fully closed, chairs pushed into the table, coffee table books and mags neatly arranged — whatever stays in sight will look a lot better when it's all aligned.


6. Sweep & Vacuum If The Floors Are Really Gross

This step gets lower priority if the floors don't have immediately visible grime, so do what time allows. In her Youtube video How To Clean Your House Fast, vlogger Jordan Page says guests won't pay attention to your floors... so if the clock is ticking, feel free to ignore them.


7. Open The Blinds & Light A Candle

Fake freshness with sunlight and good smells. 


Ah! Now this is a home worth visiting (briefly).

"COME IN! COME IN! Can I get you some hot chocolate?" 

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