The first date was pretty awesome, so you want to keep seeing them. you notice they are taking their interest level in you very high ... and very quickly. WARNING: These controlling people will take a dating status to the extreme by rushing the relationship and becoming obsessive. If you’ve ever been through this, you might have thought "where did all this come from?" Well, it's most likely you missed the signals on the first few dates because you were having so much fun. Take a look at these warning signs from several different dating and relationship experts.
1. They think about wedding bells VERY early on.
You are such "marriage material" to them, they will say things like you have EVERYTHING they are looking for in a spouse. All of the boxes are checked. Even if it seems like they are just joking, it’s better to proceed with caution, and watch for these types of statements to come up more often (and more emphatically) as time goes by.
2. They are fascinated by your very presence.
It's like your an intriguing unicorn from another universe, and they tell you that you're so awesome beyond human comprehension. It could be your smiles, laugh or your clothing style. On the surface that's kinda cool to hear this non-stop praise in the beginning, but if it continues too often beyond that, pay close attention to your inner uncomfortable vibe.
3. They enjoy doing the PDA with you.
Romantic public displays of affection can include holding hands, placing an arm around your waist at the mall, or a long kiss. I mean if the chemistry is there, why not? However, if you sense they are becoming TOO PDA driven as the weeks go by, they may be obssessing.
4. They straight-up refuse to listen to you.
If you say you would like to go to different places for dates, they don't seem to be paying attention. It's like going in one ear and out the other. Worse, they will listen and speak a rebuttal that dismisses your wishes. Not quite shaming your feelings, but getting close to it.
5. Possessive names everywhere.
Inserting “my" before your name OR using sweet little pet names in order to get on your softer side when you’re angry at them can be a really bad sign. More reason to be concerned is when they defend whatever they did, and say you're overreacting. They don't get it, and they don't care because you are SO wrong. Here's where your feelings become insignificant.
6. Calling you by your family's nicknames.
Yes, it's annoying in the beginning, AND a sign they are in obsessive mode with you (again). "Littl' pumpkin" "Bubba" or "Sissy" should have personal boundaries set by YOU; not them.
7. From the beginning, they are obsessed with learning every little detail.
If they begin to pry into all of the intimate details of your life, then its time to tap the brakes. If they learn too much about you, they might try to convince you how those personal traits you have make THEM the perfect life partner for you.
8. Facebook stalking.
Look, we already know 95 percent of all singles do this to some extent. Looking at all of the pics and recent posts is one thing. However, if they question or comment on photos, videos, and posts you’ve put up months-or even YEARS-before, that's a control freak in the making.
9. Let's go on a guilt trip
You can't make it to that coffee or lunch with them? Let's get this pity party started! This might even include inquiries like "did you do this all the time with your past relationships?" If they do, realize they might be calling your very character into question; perhaps inferring you are insensitive.
10. CONSTANTLY texting/calling, even if they just saw you.
Uh-oh, here's ANOTHER afternoon text when you just had a long lunch with them. Then, there's a text waiting for you when you wake up, and then another in the middle of a meeting. If they call at a time when they knew you had some other plans with friends or family, this is not good. It's a clear signal they are borderline obsessed; especially when you did not text back quickly, or do a fast enough phone call back when their call went to voice mail.
11. They are taking everything you say waayyyyy too personally.
Telling a funny observation about your cat, and they may turn in it into you calling them ugly or believing they are incompetent. They might even manipulate this kind of situation into a moment that shows you have no concern for their feelings. Controlling people use this to their emotional advantage.
12. Unhealthy attempts to grab your attention in negative ways.
They might send you an URGENT text to call him IMMEDIATELY, only to reveal it was a tactic to get you to talk to them; even though you’re at work. It becomes obsessive (and even dangerous) when they hint that it's essential you respond when they ask you to right then, otherwise it will result in something bad happening.
13. They can use what you confide in them against you.
Especially with personal things like the loss of someone you love, or an unpleasant memory you have. If you get upset or "opt out" of a date for those kind of reasons, they might say something along the lines of “you never know if I’ll still be there." Trying to use your grief or past hurt feelings for emotional blackmail is a BIG signal. Get out. Now.
14. They want to set the rules.
It could be about how much you should spend; or what clothes you pick out for the evening. They want to have the final say, and place parameters on most everything you want, or plan to do.
15. Over?? NOTHING is over until THEY say it's over.
You may have actually called for a break-up. They're just not hearing it. Instead, they refuse to get out of your life. Funny how you discover they're all of a sudden wanting to hang out with your siblings, cousins, friends and co-workers. Don't be surprised if they open up a big can of manipulation on THEM in an attempt to hold on to you. Then there's social media...They always respond to ALL of your Facebook, Twitter and Instagram posts; mentioning how smart, beautiful and loving you are. On their page, it becomes a forum for staying together with "the most amazing person in the world."