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According to experts the way to be more persuasive when you argue comes down to a few behavior changes.
- For starters you need to put in your best effort to understand the other side. Ask them questions. This way, from the very get go, you are letting the other person know that you are trying to achieve the ultimate goal of solving the problem. Understanding their side gives you better insight into the problem.
- Be direct and tell the whole truth. If you hedge about your true feelings your partner is less likely to understand the seriousness of the situation and won’t be able to truly answer your problems.
- Switch out “however” and “but” for “and”. Those words in an argument tend to say, “I am dismissing what you just said or did and am now putting my position ahead of yours. The word “and” conveys an understand while providing an addition.
- Tone of voice. We’ve all been there. Someone says something on paper that doesn’t sound too horrible but their tone can change it completely around. Make sure you are not that person. What is more, keeping your cool helps you appear more in the know and helps keep the argument civil.
- Be available to apologize. If you say something out of line be quick to genuinely apologize. This means you accept your own mistake and you have empathy for how you made the other person feel.