Has this ever happened to you? You’re spending some evening time on FB, and you have one of your friends pop up randomly in your mind. This happens to be someone you haven’t seen post in a while. Then, there it is. They’re not on your friends list anymore. It's very clear. You know they unfriended you, because you certainly did not unfriend them. You might be hurt OR just curious as to why they did this. Most people want to solve this disappearance mystery. Well, after a little research, I’ve discovered common reasons why your friends will hit the unfriend button (then confirm the action).
1. You offended them. In many of these cases, you may be oblivious to that fact; especially if you thought of this person as more than just a casual friend. In this case, you can message them, and ask why. If they respond truthfully, at least you can learn the reason. Once that is revealed, you might be able to be re-friended.
2. You over-post. And post some more. It’s like breakfast, lunch and dinner. With coffee stops and gym visits along the way. Every. Day. Pics of the plates and plants, and how they look on a candlelit table. At different angles. Don’t misunderstand. Some of this is cool, but more than two a day is a bit over the top.
3. Too many selfies. This is a first-cousin to #2. You might be communicating some bad poetry that says, “How do I love me? Let me count the ways!” If your profile pics are all selfies, it’s too much. Delete some of those and replace with "slice of life" shots. Have someone else actually take the picture of you at the park. Better yet, a group pic with other friends in a social setting.
4. Jealously. It could be you have a new relationship, and your life is “feeling blessed.” New pictures are documenting your joyful state. The look of love here. A wedding pic there. The un-friender might be in a life season where they want what you want, and they are not getting it. These happy reminders are all up in their face.
5. A break-up. It goes without saying this can happen if this can happen with your partner in a relationship that has officially ended. Many times, it won’t stop there; especially if some of your friends “pick sides” and you are not their choice.
6. You’re hating on a person or group. They may not like a political fight, religious controversy, or group shaming. Some people may actually enjoy Facebook just for the social elements of life, and not negative drama that attacks others. AND if you say, “please unfriend me” just because they want only folks who think like they do, count on dozens of disappearing friends. Perhaps more than you thought would leave you.
7. Bragging. It could be because you finally got your dream job, earning more money than you ever thought possible. Or perhaps you lost 50 pounds and say “look what I did.” Then, there's the how awesome your kids are posts. They're amazing at everything. Choose your words wisely, and communicate with graciousness.
8. You didn’t like their business page. They sent the invite to like, and you did not respond. These friends may be looking to create more business leads through FB, and you’re not there for that. It's a just a difference of opinion on how Facebook should be used. Nothing more.
9. Stalking. Particularly the case with the opposite sex. They may notice you liking practically everything. Posts AND pictures. Not just a thumbs up, but a “love” emoji on a beach picture. And the photos of your kids. It you’re showing too much love--and too often—they may be creeped out. Blocking could be next.
10. They post embarrassing stuff about you, without your permission. In your mind, this may be totally innocent, but to them? Not so much. Those posts may not even be humiliating to you, but they can place you in an awkward spot. “Glad we could share all those beers last night after work.” If you tag them in a post like this that can be seen by mutual friends, family, or business associates, they are likely to remove you.
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