They Have Been Single For A LONG Time. Here's How To Date Them.

Let’s say you’ve been single (or single again) for less than 2 years. And THEN, you meet someone who you REALLY like; a sweet someone of character and loyalty. They’re witty and funny. Raw and real. Clearly, this is a person with whom you’d like to have a relationship in the near future.They have even dropped hints about the same scenario with you. The only thing is that he - or she - has been single for a LONG time-over 5 years or more. And it shows.

Don’t get frustrated, be patient. You already feel a strong connection you haven’t felt with anyone else, so don’t give up.Here are some facts in understanding this life season.

They'll Sometimes Forget They Are Not Flying Solo Anymore. That person may even forget that you are part of the their equation right now. Being single for an extended period forms some very strong habits, and they are very used to acting alone without giving a thought to anybody else. A gentle reminder that you want to be included in the mix will pull them back in to you.

You Need To Take It Slow. It isn't that they are not into you like you think they ought to be— they’re just not looking for anyone to put a ring on it right now. Think of it as the opposite of needy. They had their own independence long before you came along.

Ladies, These Guys Are Used To Having Things THEIR Way. This does not necessarily mean they are too stubborn, or too set in their ways. With you, they are not against change — they just need to ease into it. So be patient, and remind them that you have ways of doing things also, and your desire is to do things as a couple with some consensus between the two of you.

Guys, She Can Do It Herself. It's not that she doesn't think you're fully capable of helping her, it's just that she got used to doing everything solo. Don't be surprised if that includes car repairs, home construction work, and appliance fixes.

Ladies, Long-term Single Men Need Their Space. Don't be insulted if they don’t need to see you all the time. They are used to spending a lot of time alone, and they might need that time to decompress. Don't get uncomfortable if you discover he has a man-cave.

Guys, You Wonder If You're Dating The Long-time Single Or Her Friends. Many times you do something together, one or more of her friends may come along for the ride. Her friends are protective and don't want to see her get hurt. Once everyone is convinced you're not a lying, cheating jerk, you'll probably see less of the friends, aka the heart patrol.

You May Have To Convince Them That You're For Real. All that time being alone and observing other people's relationships may make them a little unsure that you really are into them. Fellas, she's trying to figure your motives out, and make sure you communicate this is not a catch and release thing.

Guys, You Might Find Out She's Very Strong. Over time, you’ll see that she may not be used to asking for or receiving help. Though she may not say it, she's grateful when you step in and lend a helping hand — just don't take over as if she's helpless.

They Have Developed A Hard Protective Shell. Over the course of those half dozen or so years, there's a good chance another relationship ended badly. Maybe their significant other back in the day didn't care about their needs. Show that you're not that person, and share your desire to get to know the many different aspects of who they are. Take interest in their hopes and dreams. Eventually, they will become more vulnerable once you earn their trust.

You Might Get Crowded Out Of The Bed. One newly married guy to a woman - who was single for 10 years - discovered his wife was not comfortable sleeping all cuddled up with him. She was simply not used to sharing a bed, and wanted to stretch out on “her side.”.As time goes on, and your relationship starts to deepen, some of these walls will come down and you'll appreciate having such an independent woman in your life.

Single Parents Are Extra Careful, And May Take It Slower Than Non-Parents Would Like. No offense. They not only want to protect their heart, but the hearts of their kids. They know (perhaps from previous personal experience) an early introduction could translate into trouble if the relationship ends. No matter how much you KNOW you will never leave, they will want to wait. And that's OK.

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Scotty Mac

Scotty Mac

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