To use a radio analogy, a player is a one-hit-wonder type. These men are very skilled at masking their true intentions because they want to be successful seducers. You should be protect yourself by dating carefully and selectively so you never fall for a wolf in Romeo’s clothing.Whether it’s offline or online, there are always subtle hints that a guy’s a trained romancer.
Here’s how to spot a player, either online or off:
1. He comes on strong.
The nice guys will keep things light in the beginning, and will not bring up physical attraction or potential intimacy right away.The playa is very bold up-front. He is not into a relationship as much as the physical attraction you bring to the restaurant table. The online communications from him will express how hot you rock the swimsuit on the beach. Suggestive observations may reveal a desire for a casual hookup, rather than a real relationship.
2. He sweeps you off your feet.
This guy is so kind and charming.And check out that Bradley Cooper smile when he looks into your eyes.He seems so sincerely engaged in you.Chances are, he’s had a lot of practice. If you feel like he’s being flirty and fun because he’s so into you, this is one of the signals he is looking for something casual.If you’re not into that, slow it down.
3. He says he’s “open” to a relationship.
Let me translate it for you, ladies.A player will say he says he’s “open” to a relationship, but the fact is, he’s not LOOKING for one (in theory).In his mind, he’s the winner because these words let him off the hook if you expect more commitment down the road. He can shut down that down, and not even feel guilty. A narcissist player may even want to see how hard you want to work in pursuing him.Don’t get caught in that trap. A guy who’s ready for a committed relationship will tell you that clearly—no cryptic code, no mixed messages.
4. He goes for the sexy innuendo very early on.
If you call him on this, the player will just play it off as innocent.It’s not.A man of good character doesn’t open any conversations with references to nudity or physical intimacy of any kind. If the two of youcommunicate online or through text messages, he might use the cute little monkey emoji to cover up the strong innuendo, the words he used were the result of a LOT of careful planning before-hand to see how many times you’ll dodge his sexual references jokes.
5. He only texts you late at night.
This is a sign for you. If he’s only texting you after 9:00 p.m., and claims he misses you, it’s not your just great sense of humor or laugh he’s missing.The reality is he may be just fantasizing about how long it will take for you to come over to his place, before he has to seek out other women for backups.The only exception to this rule is if –after he says he’s missing you--he’s wishing you sweet dreams. No agenda. That guy is a keeper!
6. He doesn’t ask personal questions.
You can float up in the clouds for a while, and then turn around and realize you hardly know each other. The player is a master at making the infatuation last as long as possible.You might feel there’s a connection, when there really isn’t.Does he know about your high school days? Family traditions? Your hopes and dreams? The truth is, he’s not interested in knowing that deep, meaningful stuff. The player will give you the warm fuzzies in the here-and-now, but does not want to go any deeper than that.
7.Online, he asks for sexy pics.
This is a very clear signal. The player is not interested in your heart and mind.He’s all about the short-term potential physical satisfaction, and he’s not even hiding his intentions. With his well-rehearsed requests, some might mistake his interest in building a photo collection of you as a sign he likes you. He just wants to play.
8. He gives over-the-top compliments.
A guy who makes grand, over-the-top claims to impress you, he probably has a goal for short-term reward. If he barely knows you and is making comments like, “You’re the perfect girl,” or, “I’d marry you tomorrow,” the player wants to make it very convincing, so you will bring your guard down. When you’re getting all giddy inside, he has expertly crafted the illusion of a long-term future. In reality, he has no plans to invest a lot of time and effort in building one.
9. He won’t introduce you to his friends.
This goes way beyond he’s embarrassed. A guy’s friends are important to him; many of whom he respects highly. As the player sees it, he knows the two of you have no long-term future anyway, so it would be a waste of time for you to meet them. CAUTION:Some players WILL introduce you to their circle of buddies, so pay attention to the way those friends respond to you. If they seem a bit indifferent, they may think of you as just the next woman in line. There have already been so many introductions.And likely more after.
10. He openly mentions other women.
Out of all of these signals, this is one is more obvious. He can spin it however he wants to, but it’s hard to hide the fact he’s a sleaze-ball or a perv.If the stories reveal how wonderful a certain female co-worker is, a woman from his past, OR he mentions your restaurant server is flirting with him, he’s trouble.The player doesn’t care about offending you or making you feel special. Remember, these are the early stages of dating, and he should think of you as nothing short of a queen.
11. At dinner, he turns his phone over and puts in on silent.
Many women might see this as a very cool thing to do, since it seems as if he wants no phone or distractions to take anything away from his time with YOU. If he’s an expert on the playing field, he might mention something like, “Work is constantly looking for me after hours, and I don’t want any interruptions while I’m with you. “Truth be told, he doesn’t want you to see his phone blowing up from other women, which can be often the case.
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