The bombshell has been dropped, and you had no clue that this devastating event would ever happen. Your perfectly happy relationship has come to an abrupt end, and the love of your life has told you he/she doesn't love you. After the shock, there are things you do to get through it.
YOU SAY: I will change things. I will call or text. We will get into a big emotional conversation and I will be very persuasive as to how this is all wrong. We belong together! I will go out and take a bunch of selfies of me doing fun things and post on social media. “Look! It's me having a great time without you! Don't you miss the FUN me?” That will win them back! Wait! I'll hint that there is someone else. I'll make up a Facebook person and have that person make flirty comments on my page!
PSYCHOLOGIST SAYS: Before you do anything at all, please take a step back. Breathe and take a seat. You don't want to have to babysit someone's brain. If they can't figure it out on their own, coming up with the most persuasive arguments isn't going to help. You might pin them down for a while, but who wants to chance that they are going to drift back to a breakup mindset? When you're wrapped up in espionage mode or creative ways to convince your ex of something they don't really want to be convinced of, you forget that “winning” the battle for the ex’s common sense is a temporary state. Let them go and let all the grandstanding scenarios disappear from your life. You don't need someone who isn’t smart enough to see how valuable you are.
Stop re-injuring yourself with questions about what is wrong with you that they don’t want you. It’s time to work on you, but not for them, for you and the possibility of real love down the line. Stop focusing on what was and think about what is and what will be. Reject this rejecter and every rejecter that came before. Do your affirmations. Know that you are worth it.
Even if you love this person, this person does not love you. . . . and the person for you will love you. Deeply and Completely. It exists. It happens. It is possible.
In the meantime you must take time out to explore your issues, be good to you, know your value, understand your value and get your value from inside you and not outside.
- Be good to you.
- Move on from rejection. Feel your feelings. Reject the rejecter.
- Celebrate the you that is you.
- And know that the right person for you is out there.
Reject the Rejecter and embrace all that is you. . . the good is waiting for you. Believe it.
Here's more from relationship expert psychologist Susan Elliot. CLICK BELOW FOR MINI-COUNSELING SESSION.