ANSWERS: How To Date One Who's Been Single A While


  • They'll Sometimes Forget They Are Not Flying Solo Anymore. That person may forget that they are part of the equation right now, and agree to help someone move without checking in with you. Being single for an extended period forms some very strong habits, and they are very used to acting alone without giving a thought to anybody else.
  • Guys, She Can Do It Herself.  It's not that she doesn't think you're fully capable of helping her, it's just that she got used to doing everything, and that includes car repairs and the drip in the kitchen sink.
  • You Need To Take It Slow.  It isn't that they are not into you — they’re just not looking for anyone to put a ring on it right now. Think of it as the opposite of needy. 
  • Ladies, These Guys Are Used To Having Things THEIR Way.  This does not necessarily mean they are too stubborn, or too set in their ways. With you, they are not against change — they just need to ease into it. So be patient, and remind them that you have ways of doing things also.
  • Guys, You Wonder If You're Dating The Longtime Single Or Her Friends. Many times you do something together, one or more of her friends may come along for the ride. Her friends are protective and don't want to see her get hurt. Once everyone is convinced you're not a lying, cheating jerk, you'll probably see less of the friends, aka the heart patrol.
  • Ladies, Formerly Single People Need Their Space (especially those who have been single for more than 5 years).  Don't be insulted if they don’t need to see you all the time. They are used to spending a lot of time alone, and they might need that time to decompress.
  • You May Have To Convince Them That You're For Real.  All that time being alone and observing other people's relationships may make them a little unsure that you really are into them. Fellas, she's trying to figure your motives out, and make sure you don't want to just catch and release her as romantic sport.
  • Guys, She's Very Strong.  Over time, you’ll see that she may not be used to asking for or receiving help. Though she may not say it, she's grateful when you step in and lend a helping hand — just don't take over as if she's helpless.
  • They Have Developed A Hard Protective Shell.  You'll get to know the many different aspects to their personality. Sure, they may be super strong, but they can still be vulnerable and open once they earn your trust.
  • You Might Get Crowded Out Of The Bed. One newly married guy to a woman - who was single for 10 years - discovered his wife was not comfortable sleeping all cuddled up with him. She was simply not used to sharing a bed, and wanted to stretch out on “her sides.”.  As time goes on, and your relationship starts to deepen, some of these walls will come down and you'll appreciate having such an independent woman in your life.
Scotty Mac

Scotty Mac

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