Dr. Seth Myers is a licensed clinical psychologist, Psychology Today blogger, and author of the book, “Dr. Seth’s Love Prescription”
There are patterns from the past affecting the present. And future. Let’s say you come from a home where there was neglect, abuse, or a lot of emotional drama. Dr. Meyers says you need to be very careful when you first meet someone and you feel really attracted.
Odds are that this person reminds you of someone or of a relationship dynamic in the past, but you need to walk away from people you feel extremely turned on by in the beginning.
Instead, the type that you need to give a chance to is the type of man or woman who, at first, may seem boring or … too nice. What needs to happen is that you need to change the type of person to whom you are attracted to. Really, the only way to do that is to keep dating someone who seems kind and reliable, even if you think you aren’t sexually attracted or that they seem a little boring.
Those who have changed their lives and found strong relationships often say that they were not very sexually attracted in the beginning to their partner, but they forced themselves to keep giving that new person a chance.
What’s interesting is that after a few months or so of dating someone sane and appropriate (as therapists like to say), most men and women find that they actually PREFER this new type, even though they didn’t feel that way in the beginning. In other words-the old patterns of failure have been replaced by new ones for potential long-term success!