1. The parents grant wishes that should not be granted. The most common offense is regularly allowing them to stay up too late, which results in a cranky and exhausted child who’s self-esteem can suffer.
2. The child’s desires are met at the expense of someone else. Something as simple as giving them your food at the restaurant sets your child up to always gets her way in relationships, which could affect friendships and romantic relationships in the future.
3. The child learns that disappointment and sadness are unacceptable to them. These parents will do almost anything not to let them experience disappointment. As time passes, the child will do things that end up being destructive – including cheating to win.
4. No limits are set. This will create a lack of self-discipline and the inability to work at– and achieve--goals.
5. The child never learns that happiness is not derived from wish fulfillment. The child is likely to grow up pursuing material “stuff” that they think will make him happy, but find emptiness as a result.
6. The child has a much harder time developing stable internal happiness. For those parents communicating that negative feelings should be avoided, the kids are receiving a message they are not FULLY lovable. Sweeping those feelings under the rug can leave an emotional disconnect to the parent.
7. Kids keep pushing till they find the limits. Years of research shows kids WANT limits because they want someone to be in charge. It’s pretty terrifying to a child to think that no one is in charge to protect them.
8. Permissive parents make constant compromises about things that are important to them. They may let their child treat them badly. Or they may let their child over-indulge in screen time addictions rather than focusing on school work, even though they know it sabotages their child's academic learning.
9. The permissive parenting style undermines the parent-child relationship. When a child doesn't trust parents will enforce rules that keep the child healthy and safe ("Ok, I guess you don't have to wear your bike helmet if it makes you that unhappy ") The child disrespects the parent and looks for limits (and proof that he's actually loved.)
10. Permissiveness in parenting can set a child up to abuse the parent. This abuse can cause the parent to get more angry, resentful, and even less nurturing to the child who needs it. And guess what? That mindset can continue as the child matures.